I thought I had stumbled upon some glorious meditation podcasts. I used them for weeks, slowly making progress. Little steps forward, and little steps back. Then today, I did one by The Monroe Institute. It was like I've been blind all this time, and now I see. I was given some of their stuff about a year ago. I'd put some of it on over my speakers at bedtime, to aid me with sleep, but it never did anything. Once I used it on the train in an attempt to help me relax around the huge crowd of people that always left me anxious. That time I had almost missed my stop because I thought I'd fallen asleep. This was not falling asleep.
So, I started off being amused because it made me think of The Twilight Zone. This guy was narrating, the sounds in my ears were unusual... sometimes almost alien like. I followed the instructions, putting the stuff that has been on my mind into a big box in my head and walking away from it. I never once thought about that stuff, mostly I would hear this sound in one ear that made me think of when my mom used to rub my head and I would fall asleep. He would talk, but it wasn't the kind of thing that would snap me out of whatever state I'd managed to get myself into. It was far away, and not distracting. He said at one point that when he got to 20 I'd be asleep. It was like I was there, but I had no control over my body. By the time he got to 20, my head had completely fallen to the side (I was sitting back in a recliner) and then in the reverse he said when he got to 1 I'd be awake... when he got to 10 my head seemed to snap back up to center and drifted a bit to the right, like I was waking up and dozing off, at 5 it went to center, and at 1 my eyes opened just before he said open your eyes and somewhere around 7 or 6 I began to laugh, like uncontrollable laughter, by 1 I had happy tears streaming down my face and I was cracking up, and then after 1... it just stopped.
Weirdest. Experience. Ever.
But I'm totally down for anything these guys put out. I actually feel SO much better. Better than I have in.. I don't know, since I can't remember when. I think it totally hypnotized me, and that's not an easy thing to do. I've seen multiple people to be hypnotized and they've never been able to do it.
I'm no longer laughing like a loon, but I still feel a little bit like I'm floating in the ether, still giddy, and my entire body is tingling.
That was completely insane. I can't wait to try out their other stuff.