Thursday, August 15, 2013

Meditation Sessions 15, 16, & 17

Seems like this number should be higher. I've only missed a couple of times.. I'll have to peek at when I started the challenge.
After some conversations with my significant other, I think I'm going to do some meditation exploring today for my evening session. I'll have to dig around to see if I can find what I'm looking for. It sounds like I'm getting close to the point where everything goes blank. For now, while I can't shut my brain off, I can at least get it to the point where everything is a dull roar. So when I get about half way or 3/4 of the way through, the specific thoughts all sort of start to blend together to just being a lot of background noise. I can't stay in that mode for too long as individual thoughts start jumping out and then I have to start over again, but I can get to just general noise. It really is just like noise. It's so strange. It's like a stadium filled with people all talking at once, and you can't really make out anything that anyone is saying for the most part, but randomly a bit of conversation will jump out and you can hear it... and eventually it falls back into the general roar of the crowd. That's the best way I can think of to describe it. I used to think that I didn't have a whole lot going on in my head, but a few weeks of this and I now know otherwise. I can't ever shut it off.

Checking back, it's been 3 weeks (as of tomorrow) I've missed 3 to hit my once a day goal. I know I've missed at least 3 days.. I'm guessing it was more like 4 or 5 days since I managed twice a day for a bit.
I had a weekend that I didn't do it, and noticed the lack of meditation immediately in my mood and the grumpy directions that thoughts wandered into. It's also harder to meditate when my kids are visiting. I'm finding I have to do it either really early or really late, and then I tend to doze off.  I have a new work schedule starting soon and with school starting for the kids, it's going to take a little more planning to get it into my day, but well worth the effort. 

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